Yesterday I was sitting in a local coffee shop with my sister. We were having a general chit chat when Miriam noticed a very well groomed woman walk in. She alerted me to the woman who looked like she has just come out of the salon. She was indeed all coiffed, bouncy and shiny. I noticed that she had perfect makeup, was dressed nicely, and generally looked well turned out.
We then started talking in general about being well groomed. I noted that if a woman is plastered with makeup and has really glamourous hair it detracts from the notion that she might actually be hiding some unattractive physical qualities. It could take a while to realise this as there are so many distractions. In the UK there would be one really good example of this which would be Bet Lynch from Coronation Street.
(courtesy of Coronation Street Blog)
It took me about a decade (it was the formative years) to come to the realisation that she was in fact not as ‘drop dead gorgeous’ as I had always thought. My eyes had deceived me.
My sister then pointed out that these things are always noticed by other women, like ourselves. In short women groom and generally want to look nice to impress other women and do not primarily do it for men. My sister then proclaimed;
‘men have a type for sure and generally a man will shag anyone that falls into that type, has a pulse and is consenting. Men don’t really care if the woman is a bit over weight – in fact the more meat she has on her hips the better! On a purely basic, animalistic level a man wants to know that in a time of famine his woman has enough stores to feed his offspring!’
After I stopped laughing I remembered a conversation I had with my boyfriend the day before. I had observed to to him that for a petite and slim woman I had quite a bit of flab. My boyfriend replied ‘yes but its sexy flab.’ This would be a fine case in point – men don’t care so much about this sort of thing, if they like you that is.
So the conclusions based on our discussion were (a) men don’t mind a bit of weight on a woman, particularly if it is around the hips, he also barely notices if she is groomed. (b) women generally like to groom for other women as they subconsciously know that men aren’t really that bothered. (c) women who are groomed look nicer than women who are not groomed.
Our final conclusion was that we both needed to groom more often. So what are the key things we need to do to be
I have set out some basic steps that could help you look and feel your best!
- Remove excess hair on your face (if you are a lady) and have your eyebrow shaped every few weeks
- Use a body scrub once a week so that your skin is not flaky
- Make sure you remove hair from your arm pits and if you wear a skirt, remove hair from your legs
- Wash or shower every day (not technically grooming as it should happen regardless)
- Ironed clothes (they should be clean also with no stains but that is just a basic)
- Wear clean and shiny shoes
- Wear some make up – it doesn’t have to be heavy – a bit of lip gloss goes a long way
- Make an effort to style your hair – this is probably the most time consuming task
- File your nails and maybe get a manicure every now and then